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Real Answers™
jd30
Copyright: © ©2006 Jill Darling
565 words

IT'S THE DASH BETWEEN THE YEARS THAT COUNTS

By: Jill Darling

The man was 94. He had lived a long life. When it came time for family members to share pleasant memories at the funeral, there were none. Instead, the minister talked about coping with bitterness. "I don't know how anyone could be so mean," the man's son used to say of his father.

The deceased man's wife and grown children gathered to pay their respects to a man who had showed them none. Years of abuse and harshness replayed in their minds as they stared at the man who had made their lives miserable. He was gone, but his legacy remained.

Each of us leaves a legacy, whether we intend to or not. It's not about our career or the positions we held in organizations; it's about the mundane things in life.

We leave a mark with every encounter. Impressions are made based on the momentary choices we make throughout the day. It's how we treat people for good or for ill that leaves the imprint of who we are.

Our families, the people who know us best, see the real us--the truth. The choices we make set in motion positives or negatives. We can be a blessing or a curse to those around us.

The most heartwarming eulogies are those in which grandchildren speak fondly of grandparents and the role they played in their lives. Whether it's reading stories, sewing patches on old dungarees, fixing cars, or teaching them to play the piano, the most notable memories are of people who have invested in the lives of others.

Even though my sister-in-law Nancy died six years ago, the Darling family still talks about the dozen or so pies she made and brought for the clan at Thanksgiving: apple, cherry, blueberry, blackberry, lemon meringue, coconut cream, mincemeat and pecan.

Most of our homes are graced with her handmade patchwork quilts. Although it's difficult to accept that she's gone, her enthusiasm and infectious laugh still live in our memories. She left a part of herself that we'll always cherish-her legacy.

In the poem, "The Dash between the Years," by Linda Ellis, a man speaks at a friend's funeral, noting her birth date and the date of her death. He says, “What mattered most of all was the 'dash' between those years." The last line sums up the message.

So, when your eulogy's being read with your life's actions to rehash, will you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your "dash"? Everyday that we leave behind goes on to tell the truth of how we lived in the line between the two..

I periodically reflect on how I live my life and hope my actions are pleasing to God. I think about improvements I could make since I have only one chance to leave a positive legacy. A verse in Proverbs says, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver or gold."

I used to tell my college-bound son to live life as if it were recorded on video, because in a sense, it is. After phoning him, I'd often light-heartedly sign off, "Make a good video!"

He knew what I meant. Our legacy goes on forever.

"Real Answers™" furnished courtesy of The Amy Foundation Internet Syndicate. To contact the author or The Amy Foundation, write or E-mail to: P. O. Box 16091, Lansing, MI 48901-6091; amyfoundtn@aol.com

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